We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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