He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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