Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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