do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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