I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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