Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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