I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
My boob is missing a layer of skin
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
