just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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