I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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