K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I can text with my tongue
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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