pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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