I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
