where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
