Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
not ubering you a puppy
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
