Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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