I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Randomize
