The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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