Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
