wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Still dying that you shit outside
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
