After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
