I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
