Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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