Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
