I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
