Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
