just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Randomize
