Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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