I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
