she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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