Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
