they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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