I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize