I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
