I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
