How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
