proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
