i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
