ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
