You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
