Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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