Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
