Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
