I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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