i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
