I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
