If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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