oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
