it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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