eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize
