i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
