I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
