okay pat passed out under dana's car
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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