Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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