I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
