I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
