R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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