Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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