My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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