Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
