i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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