hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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