So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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