try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
