i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
