Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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